Wow, this all sounds very suspicious concerning sexual abuse. Her actions and unconsious physical reaction to her father visiting would've made me feel the same way you did. Very odd indeed.
The only suggestion I have here is to allow her time to get some help through her therapist. You may even have to decide to move on with your life in spite of not having her in it. If she gets help and can get better, there might be hope later on. But for now, it sounds like she has some real deep rooted issues, even if there was no sexual abuse. Unfortunately I dont see a positive outcome for your relationship unless she gets some intense therapy, but you can't put your life on hold.
I realize this may not be what you wanted to hear, but it's just my opinion.
Good luck! T
Last Edit: May 12, 2009 9:23:05 GMT -8 by tigerlily