Post by disgusted on Mar 9, 2009 16:19:01 GMT -8
Hi all,
I am writing to you because I believe , well, I know, my husband is a victim of covert incest. His dad left before he was born, and his mother is very very attached to him. She can't even change a light bulb on her own. She depends on "Josh" for everything. She babies him and calls him constantly. She tells him all her problems and wants him to feel sorry for her. She complains that she has no life and doesn't go anywhere, although her friends from work have invited her to go places, just to have her decline. We are living with her unfortunately, because we were going to build a house, but encountered numerous problems with the builder, and now we are stuck with a lot we can't sell (we bought it off the builder), but that is a whole different story. She lives in this fantasy that we are going to be there forever. She always tries to out do everything I do for him. For Christmas she buys him gifts that would reach the ceiling if stacked. She recently gave him a card for Valentine's Day that said 'to my sunshine'. She buys him things constantly, even thought she complains she has no money, and she never acknowledges me for the things we buy for her together. She only gives him the credit. It is always Josh sent me flowers for my birthday - even though my name is on the card, or Josh bought me this for Christmas. It is very frustrating. I have confronted her about this only to have her deny it, or say it isn't important, or that I am "just looking for trouble." I am at the end of my rope. She complains when we do anything together. We love to ski, she says it is stupid and too expensive. She says we spend too much money, but we don't, although she can buy him 50 gifts for Christmas and that's OK. She literally hates when we spend time together. I think she is very bitter against marriage because her own failed - i wonder why! She didn't even acknowledge our anniversary, stating "it is just another day," but she sends everyone else in the family a card. She gives me cheap shots when he is not around and contradicts everything I say. I have talked to my husband about this - we have argued many times, although he has said recently that he believes me and is seeing how shew is, yet he really won't confront her. I blame him in some ways, but I blame her for so much more. I blame her for raising him to basically cater to her and for smothering him the way she did, and continues to do. Well, I'm sorry this was so long - thanks for reading!
I am writing to you because I believe , well, I know, my husband is a victim of covert incest. His dad left before he was born, and his mother is very very attached to him. She can't even change a light bulb on her own. She depends on "Josh" for everything. She babies him and calls him constantly. She tells him all her problems and wants him to feel sorry for her. She complains that she has no life and doesn't go anywhere, although her friends from work have invited her to go places, just to have her decline. We are living with her unfortunately, because we were going to build a house, but encountered numerous problems with the builder, and now we are stuck with a lot we can't sell (we bought it off the builder), but that is a whole different story. She lives in this fantasy that we are going to be there forever. She always tries to out do everything I do for him. For Christmas she buys him gifts that would reach the ceiling if stacked. She recently gave him a card for Valentine's Day that said 'to my sunshine'. She buys him things constantly, even thought she complains she has no money, and she never acknowledges me for the things we buy for her together. She only gives him the credit. It is always Josh sent me flowers for my birthday - even though my name is on the card, or Josh bought me this for Christmas. It is very frustrating. I have confronted her about this only to have her deny it, or say it isn't important, or that I am "just looking for trouble." I am at the end of my rope. She complains when we do anything together. We love to ski, she says it is stupid and too expensive. She says we spend too much money, but we don't, although she can buy him 50 gifts for Christmas and that's OK. She literally hates when we spend time together. I think she is very bitter against marriage because her own failed - i wonder why! She didn't even acknowledge our anniversary, stating "it is just another day," but she sends everyone else in the family a card. She gives me cheap shots when he is not around and contradicts everything I say. I have talked to my husband about this - we have argued many times, although he has said recently that he believes me and is seeing how shew is, yet he really won't confront her. I blame him in some ways, but I blame her for so much more. I blame her for raising him to basically cater to her and for smothering him the way she did, and continues to do. Well, I'm sorry this was so long - thanks for reading!