Post by merdenoms on Nov 16, 2008 8:51:50 GMT -8
Looks like this place has turned into a ghost town, but reading some of the posts makes me feel that I'm not a monster, or a bad person, or sick for thinking it, or jealous of my step daughter and all of the things I'm sure you all have been accused of also.
I have been married to my DH for 4 years now. His (now) 21 YO daughter has moved out. But while she was living with us, I couldn't quite put my finger on something not right.
She was always with us. In order for me to find time for us alone I would have to actually "make a date" with my husband and literally forbid her to intervene.
She would walk around the house in skimpy clothing all the time (she is very well endowed on top, as am I) a few times lifting her shirt to show herself to her father under the pretense of having a scratch on her chest. She would reach across him to get things on the table in front of him showing cleavage in his face.
If he needed anything she would jump to get it for him before I could even respond. He would confide in her about things that I thought were things that he should be speaking to me about (work, finances, previous sexual experiences... on one occasion OUR sexual experiences!). When I confronted him about this, he said that "he was so used to doing it, that he didn't think anything of it" that during his 7 years apart from his first wife his daughter was "the woman of the house" and that anything she wanted or said was "the law" and anyone that didn't like it could get out.
He told me that he thinks of her as "his roommate" and "friend" more than his daughter, and that he thought that "she would never leave the house".
Just before Christmas 2007, his daughter came to me and told me that he had "touched her innappropriately, but we didn't have sex" and that she thought all these years that he was "the cool dad" but now that she is out of the house living on her own with her boyfriend (who is 15 years older than her) she realizes that he wasn't "cool" he was abusive.
I found out a few months after this "confession" that she was trying to manipulate me out of the house and away from her father because she was having relationship problems with her boyfriend... apparently she wanted to come home to daddy.
I brought her accusation to him when she brought it to me. His reaction was at first one of disbelief, then anger, then hurt. I chose not to believe her accusation (because her story was too full of holes) but unfortunately, because of "that something in the air that I can't put my finger on" that I watched for three years between them I can't help but have my doubts.
My DH and I sometimes talk about it. He says that he doesn't want to confront her with it because it will destroy her relationship with her BF to have the truth come out that he never touched her. But then he uses logic that is scary to me. "If that were the case, I would have had everything... my own business intact, all of my friends were her friends also, and she's prettier than you, if this were true and I were having sex with her... why would I have stopped it?" the other scary statement is "You know me better than that, I'm not going to just touch her and then go back to my own bed aroused... if I were going to start something like that you know me, I'd have definately finished it."
The only thing I can say about the whole thing is that the story never changes. So it's either true or he has a GREAT memory. His daughter claims to have told her mother this abuse story, but her mother hasn't contacted anyone about it, not even him. That doesn't ring true for me either, I don't think I would be able to just let that go if I were her mother.
My DH and his daughter haven't spoken since last year, he hasn't tried to contact her, and she hasn't him either. It's almost like they "broke off" their relationship.
This is so strange. I could type forever... thanks for the opportunity to vent.
I have been married to my DH for 4 years now. His (now) 21 YO daughter has moved out. But while she was living with us, I couldn't quite put my finger on something not right.
She was always with us. In order for me to find time for us alone I would have to actually "make a date" with my husband and literally forbid her to intervene.
She would walk around the house in skimpy clothing all the time (she is very well endowed on top, as am I) a few times lifting her shirt to show herself to her father under the pretense of having a scratch on her chest. She would reach across him to get things on the table in front of him showing cleavage in his face.
If he needed anything she would jump to get it for him before I could even respond. He would confide in her about things that I thought were things that he should be speaking to me about (work, finances, previous sexual experiences... on one occasion OUR sexual experiences!). When I confronted him about this, he said that "he was so used to doing it, that he didn't think anything of it" that during his 7 years apart from his first wife his daughter was "the woman of the house" and that anything she wanted or said was "the law" and anyone that didn't like it could get out.
He told me that he thinks of her as "his roommate" and "friend" more than his daughter, and that he thought that "she would never leave the house".
Just before Christmas 2007, his daughter came to me and told me that he had "touched her innappropriately, but we didn't have sex" and that she thought all these years that he was "the cool dad" but now that she is out of the house living on her own with her boyfriend (who is 15 years older than her) she realizes that he wasn't "cool" he was abusive.
I found out a few months after this "confession" that she was trying to manipulate me out of the house and away from her father because she was having relationship problems with her boyfriend... apparently she wanted to come home to daddy.
I brought her accusation to him when she brought it to me. His reaction was at first one of disbelief, then anger, then hurt. I chose not to believe her accusation (because her story was too full of holes) but unfortunately, because of "that something in the air that I can't put my finger on" that I watched for three years between them I can't help but have my doubts.
My DH and I sometimes talk about it. He says that he doesn't want to confront her with it because it will destroy her relationship with her BF to have the truth come out that he never touched her. But then he uses logic that is scary to me. "If that were the case, I would have had everything... my own business intact, all of my friends were her friends also, and she's prettier than you, if this were true and I were having sex with her... why would I have stopped it?" the other scary statement is "You know me better than that, I'm not going to just touch her and then go back to my own bed aroused... if I were going to start something like that you know me, I'd have definately finished it."
The only thing I can say about the whole thing is that the story never changes. So it's either true or he has a GREAT memory. His daughter claims to have told her mother this abuse story, but her mother hasn't contacted anyone about it, not even him. That doesn't ring true for me either, I don't think I would be able to just let that go if I were her mother.
My DH and his daughter haven't spoken since last year, he hasn't tried to contact her, and she hasn't him either. It's almost like they "broke off" their relationship.
This is so strange. I could type forever... thanks for the opportunity to vent.