New to forum Apr 15, 2008 10:33:05 GMT -8
Post by mcspring on Apr 15, 2008 10:33:05 GMT -8
I, too, have had MAJOR problems with my MIL. When my husband and I started dating she wanted to be around me constantly. She called me at least three times a day and asked me extremely personal questions about my marriage to my first husband. He was killed on the job and he knew my husband's partents from attending their church. They were pastoring that church. I didn't know it at the time, but he was going to them for prayer concerning our marriage ( we were having trouble). My MIL wanted to know about our sex life down to how many times we had sex and if I climaxed every time. I was very offended and spoke to my husband (then boyfrind) about it. He said that she was just being concerned because of all of the trouble he had in his marriage to his first wife because his first wife had cut off sex from him. She complained about how bad of a wife she was because she wouldn't take care of his sexual needs. I got my soon-to-be husband to agree that we would not seperately or together talk to her about our intimate marital information or go to her for advice. He could not keep that promise because of the emotional maniupulation his mother put on him. His father was in the navy for 20 years and was gone up to a year at a time so his mom raised him alone for the first seven years. Then his brother was born and she raised the two of them until my husband was 14. Then his dad's tour of duty ended and he moved back home for good. When we got married we didn't invite anyone but our children to the wedding. It was very informal and inexpensive. His mother has hated me ever since. She is constantly prying into our marriage. She still wants to know about our sex life (we have been married for over 6 years). She calls and even comes over to take my husband aside and privately speak to him about how I have brainwashed him with too much sex and how unhealthy it is. This past Christmas she convinced my husband that I didn't take care of him properly, didn't love him, didn't respect him and he moved in with her and was there for four days. During this time she spent every opportunity trying to convince him (along with his father, who is always involved in the background) to divorce me and move in with her so she could take care of him. I have banned her from buying clothing, school supplies, spa trips, hotel weekends, etc. for the kids because she uses it as leverage to get her way. She tells my husband that if it weren't for her and her husband that he wouldn't have been able to feed, clothe, take care of his first wife and older children. Then he gives in to her even though he doesn't want to. Then he is angry because he was manipulated into caving in to her wishes. I tell him that he is the only one who can stop her from this and he says that if he did that then it would be dishonoring and disrespecting his mom and that is not how things work in his family. Needless to say, my opposition to this is viewed very negatively and I am the witch. I am sick of it but short from leaving my husband I am not sure what to do.