Is covert incest a part of narcissistic personality diorder? I've been checking into this and they seem to be one in the same? And the son of a covert incest mother? Could he have NPD symptoms? Maybe because of this? I've moved away from MIL but the abuse of my DH is the same. However, he thinks that there may be a payoff so he is trying to be nice. It comes out when he forgets. Seems like NPD to me. Just wondering if the owner of this site, or someone else, would know? Thanks!
You sound like someone walking in my shoes...I feel your pain! You seem to be going through my exact steps of understanding of what type of mess you are experiencing.
While I suppose some expert out there will disagree... I'd say the answer is "yes". I am not sure how one would cause emotional incest w/o being a narcissist.
For years I tried to figure out what was wrong btw my DH and MIL...there was just something not right...but as you know it can look so caring, so loving...okay, so wierd...that you just cannot quite get your head around it. You know you are experiencing crazy things, but hard to fully explain it.
Then you finally get the hallelujah moment and realize that it's emotional incest. And then.....you realize that that is only half of the puzzle...whala and eureka...you realize that your DH is a Narcissist and now the picture is complete.
Now you get it. And of course, now you are understanding that his being nice is simply to keep you as his Narcissistic Supply...yes, when they go back to their "normal/real" selves, the old NDP comes out.
I have read oh about 5 books since last October to help me understand the last 17 years...I've devoured them as they finally gave affirmation to all the pain.
I hope this helps somehow...well maybe to at least let you know you are dead on the money.