I now understand!

[cavlem]

Let me introduce myself. I am a women/partner suffering from the affects of Covert Incest (Emotional Incest) with my husband and his sick minded mother. When I came across this website, it almost felt like I joined a community that understood all that I have been through. For a moment I was going insane, seeing how my husband and his mother act like Husband and Wife. Not to mention he would constantly call me jeolous, selfish and heartless toward his family or things he loved. People have judged me and criticized me when after years of her abuse she was diagnosed with Colon Cancer and her manipulation increased. The worse she got, the worse I got! Who was he supporting....well I guess you can figure it out.

I have read some of the previous posts where others have stated it's like being married to a married man. This is the most mind boggling thing I have seen. Lately, as I came upon this site a few months ago, I was at my wits end. I ususally consider myself a very strong women, but it was getting to the point that I was fighting a losing battle. I couldn't win against mom. She is the cause of 85% of our problems. The other 15% is how she raised him. I am also hurt that he isn't even obedient to God's word that states about 5 times in the bible that a man should Leave his mother and Cleave to his wife.

I look this website and my book "Emotional Incest" by Patricia Love for support and I can just read a few pages as it basically dictates thier lives together.

My patience is growing low. We have some good days, but as long as she is needy and he feels like he is responsible, I don't know what the future beholds for us. I took a vow to love and honor him, not his mother.

[angelajane]

I don't know how to introduce myself after being batted from the other covert org site. But let me introduce myself. Your message/intro could have been written by me. I might add that the real victim is the spouse. I just want some information so that my spouse will come out of denial, get rid of the momma crap and be a decent, God Fearing husband. Look the snake in the eye, deal with it together & then move to the wonderful things life has to offer. To cavlem I say: If you think you are dealing difficulties now....wait til she dies! It still isn't over!

[mullinsangelina]

this could also be my story except she mil is healthy and still going strong but she makes my husband feel that she is so sick all the time. she has even went as far as taking her blood pressure out of her ankle to show him the last recorded blood pressure on the monitor. i am fed up with her and him. he bought her a 300.00 dollar christmas present and didnt even as much get me a card. neither did she

[amrinae]

Your words echo everything that's been happening in my life with my partner and his mom. She's alive and healthy but what's definitely unhealthy is their relationship. I really feel for you and understand the sense of hopelessness you feel. I'm also stuck as to what to do... I want to confront my partner but I'm afraid that he'll reject everything I say... and that will be it for me. But I don't want to just pull the plug on everything we have! I hope you find the answers that you're looking for. Nobody should have to go through this emotional hell.

[amazed]

Jun 8, 2009 6:01:21 GMT -8 amrinae said:

Your words echo everything that's been happening in my life with my partner and his mom. She's alive and healthy but what's definitely unhealthy is their relationship. I really feel for you and understand the sense of hopelessness you feel. I'm also stuck as to what to do... I want to confront my partner but I'm afraid that he'll reject everything I say... and that will be it for me. But I don't want to just pull the plug on everything we have! I hope you find the answers that you're looking for. Nobody should have to go through this emotional hell.

But what do you have?