Post by wife214 on Oct 21, 2004 7:08:01 GMT -8
My husband is a survivor of emotional incest. Like all the others it almost seems impossible to retell his story. We have been married for almost 8 years. When i first meet his mother and sister i knew there was something weird about their relationship. But after getting to know my husband and ask questions I learned alot more and now reading on this subject it has opened my eyes to the realy problem. To start my story, my MIL has been married three time just now ending her third marriage. Ok here goes, as far as when I first meet my husband i knew that their stepdad had molested his sister. Well DH was the one that turned him in. Come to find out that my MIL knew this was going on for at least a year before had and did nothing about it. Well once the stepdad went to prison my DH became the bad guy. He was then expected to take care of all of the male duties around the house. Which at the time he was the only one that drove but he was too young to work so he was responsible for doing everthing for his sister and mother. It even got to the point were if he didn't do for them then he would get demoralized and usually ended with his mother kicking him out of the house. oh I forgot at the time DH was 16 and sister was 14. His mother refused counseling for any of them after all that had happened so she brainwashed her daughter into beleiving that my DH ruined their family. MIL use to tell my DH that he took her husband away and ruined their family. She contunied this relationship with DH until about 4 years ago. And of course that stopped because I finally said something and was tired of my family time being ruined by them once agian. Now she has turned this behavior on to her daughter. Her daughter is her only friend she wants her aapproval on everything. She even share her marrital problems with her daughter, even details about her and her husbands sex life. She also expect her daughter to share this same burdens with her instead of her husband. MIL demands to be a part of every second of my SIL's life. SIL is now 24 has 4 kids and has been married twice. It is getting impossible for me to deal with this as we have 3 kids and MIL pays little to no attention to them. She even causes fights between my DH and his sister so that she can run and save her. This happens when she feels she isn't beingincluded with SIL's life. Anyway, I am the only one would has stumlbed apon this emotional incest issue and my question is how do i go about bring this up to my husband. This treatment from his mother has already hurt our marriage enough and I'm ready to heal it but our communication is not to great anymore. The way he deals with it is that if she is not here in present then it is not an issue. I don't want to sound like I'm trying to stir up old wounds, but I need some help and I think he does too. If anyone has any addvise I would really like to talk to someone, before I go about it the wrong way.
amanda
amanda