Post by amazed on Sept 25, 2006 13:46:21 GMT -8
I am truly sorry that no one responded to several posts that were recently added.
All of those posts were much like my situation. For about six years, my DH and MIL really ruled the situation. I was made to feel like the bad guy, the one with mental issues. They were the upstanding citizens. Often, I was told my child could be taken from me.
The final wake up call was a Thanksgiving weekend, a couple of years ago. I was home, making all the side dishes to be taken over to MILs. I really did not want to go. My husband was very charming and convinced me to go. It was an uneventful day.
Next day, I woke up and he was gone. He did not return until Sunday night. During that time, I had no food (leftovers at MILs), money, transportation, computer, cable or phone. We lived out in the middle of nowhere. Not even neighbors.
He came home and told me to stop complaining. To shutup, basically.
That was when things started to change, however slowly.
I started REALLY talking with my mother. She lives far away, but the phone calls were invaluable. Slowly, I started telling her what was going on.
This may not be the case with everyone, but for many I bet your circumstances are similiar. These MILs are very needy. Many are financially needy. We were constantly broke because of my MIL and SIL.
My mother started to convince me that I was indeed the upstanding citizen, not this crazy family. Not one of them could pass a drug test. They were also not in any financial shape to sue for custody.
Isn't it funny that when you're in someone else's family environment you can be convinced that you are the loser, even if that is far from the truth?
Due to finances, I was able to convince my DH to move far away. That was when things REALLY began to change. Once we moved, I pointed out that my mother and I were willing to sue for custody if need be. DH started to see that my mother was truly HELPFUL to me, whereas his mother was a money-grubbing, boy-chasing, emotionally-robbing nutcase.
She occasionally calls his job. So does his crazy sister, who is a thousand times worse than his mother. She is not incestuous, but has a huge drug problem and is constantly trying to scam money or a place to live. I have told DH, in no uncertain terms, that if SIL comes here the police will be immediately called.
The last call from MIL was about her having this fatal condition called corns. Corns? Fatal? Does she understand I can google?
Then she allegedly had to have surgery about this. SIL called and was upset that DH would not call her.
DH is here, but I have told him in no uncertain terms that if he left to be with DH I would not care. I am over it. I am staying here with our child and I will survive.
Anyway, moral of this story is this: Get with someone that will tell you not to believe the lies that DH and MIL are telling you. Stand up to them. Turn the tables on them.
New friends are stunned by the way I feel about my MIL and SIL. Then I tell them a FEW of the things that they have done to me and they are astounded.
I want everyone to know that you are NOT crazy! Stand your ground!
I hope this helps...
All of those posts were much like my situation. For about six years, my DH and MIL really ruled the situation. I was made to feel like the bad guy, the one with mental issues. They were the upstanding citizens. Often, I was told my child could be taken from me.
The final wake up call was a Thanksgiving weekend, a couple of years ago. I was home, making all the side dishes to be taken over to MILs. I really did not want to go. My husband was very charming and convinced me to go. It was an uneventful day.
Next day, I woke up and he was gone. He did not return until Sunday night. During that time, I had no food (leftovers at MILs), money, transportation, computer, cable or phone. We lived out in the middle of nowhere. Not even neighbors.
He came home and told me to stop complaining. To shutup, basically.
That was when things started to change, however slowly.
I started REALLY talking with my mother. She lives far away, but the phone calls were invaluable. Slowly, I started telling her what was going on.
This may not be the case with everyone, but for many I bet your circumstances are similiar. These MILs are very needy. Many are financially needy. We were constantly broke because of my MIL and SIL.
My mother started to convince me that I was indeed the upstanding citizen, not this crazy family. Not one of them could pass a drug test. They were also not in any financial shape to sue for custody.
Isn't it funny that when you're in someone else's family environment you can be convinced that you are the loser, even if that is far from the truth?
Due to finances, I was able to convince my DH to move far away. That was when things REALLY began to change. Once we moved, I pointed out that my mother and I were willing to sue for custody if need be. DH started to see that my mother was truly HELPFUL to me, whereas his mother was a money-grubbing, boy-chasing, emotionally-robbing nutcase.
She occasionally calls his job. So does his crazy sister, who is a thousand times worse than his mother. She is not incestuous, but has a huge drug problem and is constantly trying to scam money or a place to live. I have told DH, in no uncertain terms, that if SIL comes here the police will be immediately called.
The last call from MIL was about her having this fatal condition called corns. Corns? Fatal? Does she understand I can google?
Then she allegedly had to have surgery about this. SIL called and was upset that DH would not call her.
DH is here, but I have told him in no uncertain terms that if he left to be with DH I would not care. I am over it. I am staying here with our child and I will survive.
Anyway, moral of this story is this: Get with someone that will tell you not to believe the lies that DH and MIL are telling you. Stand up to them. Turn the tables on them.
New friends are stunned by the way I feel about my MIL and SIL. Then I tell them a FEW of the things that they have done to me and they are astounded.
I want everyone to know that you are NOT crazy! Stand your ground!
I hope this helps...