Crazy in Texas

[ntxnmess]

Hi,
I am currently separated from my husband, and have a 6 month old son. We have only been married a little over a year and a half...but dated about 3 years before. Before we got married his mother and I got along, and I thought it was great that he had such a good relationship with his mother. After we got married her and I began to clash. I quickly realized that their relationship was a lot more than close. She started to try to do things to try to compete with me, she did things like walk into the house w/out knocking and then lie to him about it. Not to mention the phone calls they talk at least 5 to 10 times a day if not more. He cannot make a decision w/out her telling him what to do. Recently she told him to lie to me about something and then turned around and told my mother so I would find out and we would get into a fight.(she doesn't want me around because I will not let her do the same thing to my son) I have totally restricted her time with my son because she always comes over to see him "because he makes her feel better." My husband also is addicted to porn, pot, and etc...will not get a job and she enables him because she likes the control. I have entered counseling for myself and I am considering divorce. I am sick of the crazy...all the time...it is always something. I don't want my son to be apart of this sick pattern, and I have to protect him. But, how do you deal with someone who play both sides of the fence(my husband) because he is caught in the middle?

[lucy]

I hope that you can accept my apologies for not having responded sooner. The board can be kind of slow and Ive been dealing with a personal tragedy so....

But I did want to make contact and to say that you are not alone. It sounds as if the separation could be a healthy way for you to get some objectivity on the situation - and I have a personal mantra, which is trust your feelings. If it does not feel right to you, the it makes no difference at all what anyone else, your MIL and DH inlcuded, consider normal. emotional enmeshment with a parent is a very difficult and ultimately incredibly painful thing for someone to realize. I wanted to bang my DH over the head with the evidence but until he was able to see it, it would not have helped. Concerning his addiction to pornography and pot, cross addictions can be very common in situations like this. Neither of these addicitons are a helathy base for you or your baby (but you didnt need me to tell you that) so you must find support for yourself and your needs. There are several twleve step groups that have partner programs and if you want to send me a PM (see message feature) I can share some more information with you. You are not alone, trust yourself, take care, and please write back.

--Lucy