Post by sobaymom on Oct 7, 2007 15:58:28 GMT -8
I have spent most of the day looking for something/somewhere that I could get some help. I think/hope I have found it here!
There is so much background to my story, but I'll try to condense it if I can.
This wonderful, brilliant (young) man that I have recently started seeing not only lost his virginity to his mother at the age of 11, but has had an on-going sexual relationship with his mother!! He is now 31 years old, so as you can see it's been going on for quite some time. His rationale is that, "it's not like it happens everyday and it's only my mum".
I started seeing him about a month ago & I guess I should have known something was not quite right when he said that he prefers older women -- I'm 56 (but I look a lot younger & I'm pretty attractive). I'm sort of use to having younger men attracted to me so it didn't bother me too much. Soon after he started IMing me he told me that maybe part of the reason he was attracted to older women was because of his involvement with his mother. After he told me that he asked me if it grossed me out. He said that people don't realize that it probably happens a lot more than people realize. He asked me if I thought he(it) was bad. I didn't know what to say. I just told him I didn't think he was bad and that it wasn't my place to judge. He said he wasn't asking me to judge, but did it make me "hot". I told him it did not and that I had 4 sons of my own and that I could never think of them in that manner.
We had 3 great weeks to sort of get to know each other and on that 2nd week he told me he had told his "mum" all about me and that she had told him to invite me to Cyprus (Greece) where he's from. I would've been thrilled & excited if it weren't for the fact that she just wanted me to go so that she could watch the two of us in bed together!! I said no & so "appease" her & for her to agree to not have sex with him, we were video tape us having sex --in the positions that she dictated!! Oh, I was suppose to learn a few phrases in Greek & pretend that I was her!!
I'm sorry, but this woman is sick & twisted and the fact that he thinks it's OK 'cause it's only mum and she's the exception to the rule just burns me up. His idea of being faithful to me & our relationship is there not being any other women except for his mum....I'm the #1 beneficiary I believer were his words! He's been in Cyprus for 1 week now but after only being back there 3 days, she had already performed oral sex on him.....his comment was, "but no sex, darling".
A very people I've talked to about this have told me to walk away from this situation, but I feel like I would be, 1) abandoning him to such perversion, 2) he's a great guy & deserves a healthy relationship, & I think I've already fallen in love with him.
On the flip side, I don't want to be contributing to this unhealthy relationship because of my age difference....is he just using me as a substitute "mum" here in the US. I am so confused. I really want to help him, but dint' know how, if it's even my responsibility, or if he really even wants my help...maybe he likes where he is in life!!
Any thoughts???
There is so much background to my story, but I'll try to condense it if I can.
This wonderful, brilliant (young) man that I have recently started seeing not only lost his virginity to his mother at the age of 11, but has had an on-going sexual relationship with his mother!! He is now 31 years old, so as you can see it's been going on for quite some time. His rationale is that, "it's not like it happens everyday and it's only my mum".
I started seeing him about a month ago & I guess I should have known something was not quite right when he said that he prefers older women -- I'm 56 (but I look a lot younger & I'm pretty attractive). I'm sort of use to having younger men attracted to me so it didn't bother me too much. Soon after he started IMing me he told me that maybe part of the reason he was attracted to older women was because of his involvement with his mother. After he told me that he asked me if it grossed me out. He said that people don't realize that it probably happens a lot more than people realize. He asked me if I thought he(it) was bad. I didn't know what to say. I just told him I didn't think he was bad and that it wasn't my place to judge. He said he wasn't asking me to judge, but did it make me "hot". I told him it did not and that I had 4 sons of my own and that I could never think of them in that manner.
We had 3 great weeks to sort of get to know each other and on that 2nd week he told me he had told his "mum" all about me and that she had told him to invite me to Cyprus (Greece) where he's from. I would've been thrilled & excited if it weren't for the fact that she just wanted me to go so that she could watch the two of us in bed together!! I said no & so "appease" her & for her to agree to not have sex with him, we were video tape us having sex --in the positions that she dictated!! Oh, I was suppose to learn a few phrases in Greek & pretend that I was her!!
I'm sorry, but this woman is sick & twisted and the fact that he thinks it's OK 'cause it's only mum and she's the exception to the rule just burns me up. His idea of being faithful to me & our relationship is there not being any other women except for his mum....I'm the #1 beneficiary I believer were his words! He's been in Cyprus for 1 week now but after only being back there 3 days, she had already performed oral sex on him.....his comment was, "but no sex, darling".
A very people I've talked to about this have told me to walk away from this situation, but I feel like I would be, 1) abandoning him to such perversion, 2) he's a great guy & deserves a healthy relationship, & I think I've already fallen in love with him.
On the flip side, I don't want to be contributing to this unhealthy relationship because of my age difference....is he just using me as a substitute "mum" here in the US. I am so confused. I really want to help him, but dint' know how, if it's even my responsibility, or if he really even wants my help...maybe he likes where he is in life!!
Any thoughts???