Is there a way to assist my husband in opening up? Mar 23, 2014 11:37:08 GMT -8
Post by belovebefree on Mar 23, 2014 11:37:08 GMT -8
I believe my husband experienced this type of abuse as well. His father left when he was two. His mother was addicted to prescription medications and he never met his father until he was 16. I know my husband was taken away from his mother when he was a child but I do not know why, my husabnd says he does not know why either. I've always known my husband had trouble with intimacy and had a dysfuntional relatinship with his mother but it was not until last year I started to think my husband was sexually abused. I actually called the 1in6 hotline and was so upset at the time. My husband and I have been to three therapists now and all have advised me to leave him. I am nowhere near ready for that, I am still very emotionally invested in my husband and I view this issue as a sickness. I promised to be with him through sickness. He is not a religious person though, his mother raised him Wiccan. She died in 2009, and I wont lie, it was the best thing that happened to me. I experienced her covert abuse. She was a creepy woman and there was question of her sexually abusing my brother in law when he was 14. My husband is now 38 and his brother 40. My husband says he has never been molested. He did say that he regularly gave his mother baths until he was 25 years old though. I believe this was the type of abuse he experienced. My brother in law told me that he himself was molested by a baby sitter. My brother in law has had both inpatient and outpatient therapy becasue he was in the military for 12 years. He appears to be more open about issues but never has placed blame on his mother. My husband ended up caring for his mother while his brother was in the ARMY. My mother in law was ill on many levels both physically and mentally and my husband took care of her. She was an addict, she used to give my husband her pills. She was the most cruel person I have ever met. My husband though, the funniest, smartest, caring person until I moved in with him. Everything changed. He disconnected from me, he refused to be intimate for years, and has covertly abused me the entire time I have been with him. I am trying to get help, if not for us then for me alone. I am so sad this is what it is. I have not talked to my husband about emotional incest becasue he gets angry and leaves everytime I try to confront him about his nonresponsiveness to both his and my emotions . He never wants to talk about anything. he is very good at "acting normal", through all of his abuse as a teenager, he was voted "Class Optomist" and excelled at school and now excells at work. He does not acknowledge my feelings or needs. He is pretty selfish but I still love him. We have yet another therapy appointment tomorrow evening, it's a new therapist. We live in a very rural area so there is a lack of therapists here to begin with, I am worried I'll never find someone with this type of expertise. Thanks for listening. If anyone has any advice for us or myself, I beg of you to please tell. I am barely sleeping... I was recently fired from my job and have come to the realization that I need to get my family affairs in order so I can function as a normal human again. I've lost my friends, my family sees the instability and would rather me leave then "deal" with this. My family does not know the details though, they live nextdoor and don't understand. I would love to hear from anyone at all.