Post by bbb on Jul 9, 2009 16:15:48 GMT -8
Hello, I'm new here.
My husband was a single dad (a a little more than 50/50) for 7 or 8 years before we married. During that time he became very, very attached to his 2 daughters and they became very, very attached to him.
I was the outsider who intruded into their little family. Oldest daughter was like his wife (with no sex of course) and youngest daughter was like his snuggle bunny girlfriend (again, no sex of course).
I felt left out, jealous, horrified that I was jealous, treated like a child or employee instead of a wife, watching lover-like snuggling of DH and daughters, hand holding with entwined fingers or sitting with his hand on oldest daugther's thigh; DH's arm draped over either daughter's butt while they sat curled up next to him on the couch (I'm talking fully developed teens at this point); DH and youngest daughter giggling and whispering into each other's ears, oldest daughter trying to be the parent not only of her younger sister but even DH himself . . . and him sometimes allowing it!!!
It was horrible. We have very, very, very slowly made strides but we still have troubles. I put my foot down and had a giant cow until the following behaviors disappeared: DH patting or tickling daughters on the butt, daughters patting or slapping DH on the butt; DH blowing in daughters' ears, daughters blowing in DH's ear; daughters wrapping their legs around DH while they snuggled, lover-like, on the couch, daugthers walking by his side or standing in line with DH while idiot, completely forgotten wife stands or walks behind them; daughters and DH crawling into bed with each other; and DH and daughters telling kind of sexual jokes to each other.
A couple of behaviors I am still working on but have not yet eliminated: DH opening the door and daughters sailing through ahead of his wife; oldest daughter loudly and rudely interrupting while I am talking and watching my DH turn to her and listen with fascination at whatever non-urgent subject she suddenly found necessary to barge into what I was saying to bring up.
I have read all those books mentioned on this forum but never had the nerve to show them to DH. He blew sky high early in our marriage and didn't speak to me for the better part of a week the first time I said some of his behaviors felt inappropriate. The word "incest" even with specificed as emotional feels like it is gas on a fire.
My husband was a single dad (a a little more than 50/50) for 7 or 8 years before we married. During that time he became very, very attached to his 2 daughters and they became very, very attached to him.
I was the outsider who intruded into their little family. Oldest daughter was like his wife (with no sex of course) and youngest daughter was like his snuggle bunny girlfriend (again, no sex of course).
I felt left out, jealous, horrified that I was jealous, treated like a child or employee instead of a wife, watching lover-like snuggling of DH and daughters, hand holding with entwined fingers or sitting with his hand on oldest daugther's thigh; DH's arm draped over either daughter's butt while they sat curled up next to him on the couch (I'm talking fully developed teens at this point); DH and youngest daughter giggling and whispering into each other's ears, oldest daughter trying to be the parent not only of her younger sister but even DH himself . . . and him sometimes allowing it!!!
It was horrible. We have very, very, very slowly made strides but we still have troubles. I put my foot down and had a giant cow until the following behaviors disappeared: DH patting or tickling daughters on the butt, daughters patting or slapping DH on the butt; DH blowing in daughters' ears, daughters blowing in DH's ear; daughters wrapping their legs around DH while they snuggled, lover-like, on the couch, daugthers walking by his side or standing in line with DH while idiot, completely forgotten wife stands or walks behind them; daughters and DH crawling into bed with each other; and DH and daughters telling kind of sexual jokes to each other.
A couple of behaviors I am still working on but have not yet eliminated: DH opening the door and daughters sailing through ahead of his wife; oldest daughter loudly and rudely interrupting while I am talking and watching my DH turn to her and listen with fascination at whatever non-urgent subject she suddenly found necessary to barge into what I was saying to bring up.
I have read all those books mentioned on this forum but never had the nerve to show them to DH. He blew sky high early in our marriage and didn't speak to me for the better part of a week the first time I said some of his behaviors felt inappropriate. The word "incest" even with specificed as emotional feels like it is gas on a fire.
